What do I do after midnight?

I head to my shed, waving my arms about my head madly because we have an orb weaving spider colony sharing our property. Our first one was Charlotte. She was 2 years old when she died and for the time she resided here she hung on our arch by the front door before the wind blew it over a second time. She cleverly missed our heads but never truly moved out of the way because if we were to veer an inch to the right side as you left the house you got a face full of whatever was in Charlotte's pantry or a few thousand of her kids would hitchhike on your shoulder. So we were always grateful that she provided us with just enough room to pass and adhered to her designated path respectfully.

We hated that arch(pictured above) and when it blew over the first time and gave way to so much sunlight we wanted it gone permanently but there was Charlot to consider. She was family. So the arch went back up and we anchored it to every which thing we could. Charlotte continued to lay a zillion eggs before she became emaciated and died and for 2 years no orb weaving spider the size of a child's hand was seen on our property until this year. There is one outside every entrance and after some waving of arms and scream of horror in the dark, they eventually move out of the way but never truly moving out of the way, just like Charlotte. We never ever ever veer from the lighted pathways at night because by the looks of the broken webs in the early morning, there's enough to colonize the Battlestar Gallactica.

So I get to the shed with the approval of the Orb weaving colony and they have mine and I have to do a huntsman check. My step sister describes them as small animals and I agree. Some the size of my hand hide in between the a frame and the tin roof. On hot nights they decorate the walls because the tin is too hot and I totally accept that even if it makes my hair stand on edge.
But the ones I hate most are the messy spiders. The Daddy long legs and the little brown ones that make dirty webs that catch all the dust in between anything and everything and whenever my back is turned they giggle defiantly and touch my stuff, dirtying it up. I get really cross at them and ask them to leave but they are belligerent and move about their business, taunting me, always hiding just out of view and jumping out snarling when I go to grab a tool from the rack. *&^% Snarling arachnids.
Horrible, dirty, touching my stuff arachnids.
They better be grateful to the Orbs and the Huntsman's because it them who get the sympathy vote and delay us from calling the pest controller. I don't know if its the drought or what but those dirty spiders are becoming invasive.


So with all that arachnid sorting done this is what I do in my shed after 12am

I make sculpey pinheads.

Here's a batch ready for the oven

and I have a tray of sculpey icing ready

for my cupcakes and buttons

ooooh I love making buttons

At night I use my LED bike light as well as

a fluorescent mechanics light so that

I can see the detail properly.

I arrange things in jars and stare at them

Then I rummage. Last night I found fabric that must be old because its my friends mums and I don't know how to tell if its vintage or not. Even if it is, what do I do with it? The quality is too good for it to be recent.

If A reads this blog she will probably remember this fabric and know of its vintage. It has to go sorry A. I will put the proceeds of its sale towards my ticket to Darwin when I finally get to come see you.

So I rummage some more.

Then I stare at my jars full of things some more and wish I had more things to stare at and think of the things I will make with all of those things that I am staring at.

mmm Sparklies

And then I wish I had an entire room to devote to my kids art because I just cannot part with them. A room without spiders would be brilliant. This is one of my favourites.

And then so tired, I turn everything off in my shed and fight my way back through the spiders and I grumble at the ones I am leaving behind saying" argh I'm so sick of you things, stay off of my stuff "(last night referring to the cheeky monkeys that have spun webs between my lathe tools as if to mock me because they know its not like I ever use them lately anyhow. My Dear M and the spiders would both agree on that matter and I say to them "Well I will one day and one day when I will they will be there when I do so ner"

So I turn off my mp3 player, sneak inside to bed and think about all the things I am going to do tomorrow.

And while I sleep

those spiders touch my stuff
and giggle

as snarly belligerant dirty spiders do.